It was faith that led me to change my career direction. I was 4 and a half years into becoming an architect but I knew I wasn’t excited about the prospect. My results that year weren’t great and in the middle I felt God telling me that it was going to be fine; simple as that. I knew it was Him because I felt such a peace even though I couldn’t see the future – faith right? A week or two later I received a call from a friend who was working in a youth organisation that had played a huge role in my life. He told me he was leaving his job and encouraged me me to apply for it. He didn’t know I’d been struggling in my course and I took this as a sign. I applied for the role and I got it – that was a miracle given my interview was not great!

When I started that role I never looked back again. Ministry in this way made sense to me. Things that I’d never done before came easily to me. It’s not that I didn’t have to work hard at them, its just that it seemed to click. I loved learning about vision, leadership and strategy, and I knew I wanted to do this stuff for the rest of my life. I can’t fully express all that I learned at that time but after 3 amazing years in that role it became clear that it was time to move on. There was nothing bad. It’s just that the organisation was expanding, in wonderful ways, and it was clear to me that I wasn’t best suited to the direction they were going. So the year we got married we blessed them, they blessed me, and I handed in my notice not knowing what was next for our new family – faith right?

I had six months working there before I left and a month before I finished that role I received an offer to come and work for the church I was a part of as a youth pastor. Without hesitation I said YES. I ended up working there for 16 and a bit years taking up different roles over the time. What a blast – I grew so much over those years and had to exercise faith in so many ways. I saw many people come to Jesus, watched as miracles became an expected way of life, travelled all over the world, spoke and learned from incredible leaders, got to work with some of the best people, and of course made a lot of mistakes as well. My faith was growing the whole time. Then in 2023 we felt that we had to lay down our time at that church. That was a hard one but we knew we had to do it. We had no idea what was next for us; both in terms of church, job, even location, but we felt it was another faith step – right?

And so, here we are after our gap year walking into a new season. A season where we are living by faith. You’d think given the way my life has been led and the journey of faith that I, and of course Janet, have walked that this part would be easier.

This week I can safely say that has not been the case. Whilst I’ve believed I’ve always lived by faith, this last month has made me realise how much I also relied on the structures that held me in previous jobs. Whilst I needed Gods direction for what to do, there was also work that just had to ‘get done’ from years of structures that had been set up. There was also a team that we worked with, and volunteers that relied on us. As much as I am an introvert, it was nice to have people journeying with me. I also had a salary. I didn’t have to think about where money was coming from. It’s not that I was paid a lot, especially when I was younger, and I always had to think about money, but I knew come the end of each month that money would drop in my account.

This week it hit me that there are no structures to hold me, there is no team other than Janet and I, and there is no guaranteed salary that will drop in my account at the end of the month. I never realised how hard and lonely that can feel. It makes me so appreciate all you pioneers out there that have walked this whether through church planting, new businesses, mission work, charities etc.

My faith is being stretched again.

I have confidence in God but I can struggle with the confidence to know that I have heard Him correctly. Last week there were a few moments where I really needed some prayers to be answered but I didn’t see the answers I had hoped for. That was disappointing. I wasn’t disappointed with God, I’ve learnt enough to know that the lack is not on His side. I don’t know why I didn’t see what I’d hoped to see but I trust that He has a plan bigger than me, but those moments can knock your confidence.

After taking a week off for half term with our son we came into this week not knowing what we had to do. We will keep podcasting because God asked us to, and we think there are other places we need to pray in, but outside of that we don’t have a list of other stuff. That’s hard for me because there are loads of things we could do. We’ve worked in this kind of stuff for ages and there’s a lot of like to do. I could start setting up our ministry officially, getting bank accounts, applying for funding, talking to schools, listening to community groups, setting up marriage courses, youth clubs, and a hundred other things. But Gods made it clear that Jesus will tell us what and when to do what needs done. Just this morning Janet re-read the word we received from a friend back in early December last year. I’ve included it below so you can see it too.

Hey guys, so just taking some time praying this morning and this came to mind for you both. Just mindful of Moses and the the passages when he had to strike the rock and then later on the Lord asked him to speak to the rock. Obviously, you know the story. And I just felt like this morning the Lord was saying I’m gonna do it again with you but this time is going to be different and it won’t be accomplished the same way.

More importantly, was what was required from Moses was courage to do something completely out of his comfort zone. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe God could he just didn’t have the confidence to speak to the rock so he did what he knew would work and this is the word to you therefore be brave and courageous to observe all that the Lord is speaking to you and observe these things in detail because it’s not just what you do this is about how you do it. and how you do this will bring greater glory to the Lord then before.

So, here we go again. Still growing in faith. Being confident in what we hope for and assured of what we do not see. I’m looking forward to the moment I’m looking back on this day and laugh at how much God has this all looked after. I have no doubt this will be what happens but that doesn’t necessarily make this week any easier 😂

Be blessed

Neil