After a little bit of time off over Easter, we stepped into today not knowing what God had in store for us. If anything, I (Neil) felt a little apprehensive about it – I realize I should have learned by now not to feel this way, but……. God has often used watershed moments with us, so when we’ve had holidays, time off, or big occasions, it often leaves me wondering if there is something new coming on the other side. Was today going to be one of those moments?

My honesty moment here is that while it was lovely having some time off at Easter, I have been feeling a bit flat. Nothing worse than that, but definitely not as content and peaceful as I often do. This is partly practical in that there are a lot of things that require my attention currently; none of them huge in and of themselves, but the combination of them takes up head space. Added to that is the fact that none of these things are currently flourishing in the way that I would like, and that leaves me with an unsettled feeling. I am someone who likes to win; part of that is how God has wired me, but I also deal with the shadow side of that, and so moments of ‘not winning’ can leave me flat. That means it isn’t just practical but spiritual because I know when I partner with those emotions I am inviting a different spiritual lens into my life – a lens that is not reliable! So, heading back into this week, I was aware I was carrying some of that.

I woke up early as we do on weekdays, and I was very tired! I had hoped for a new burst of energy that would propel me into the week, but it wasn’t looking like that was going to be the case. One of the things I try to do before I go and wake up our son is to look at the verse of the day on my phone. Today, as I lifted it, I couldn’t help but smile through my tired eyes as I read….

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrew 11:1

God always has a way of talking to us, right? If you’ve been following the story of theonehundredyearsproject, you will know that Hebrews 11 was one of the key passages that God used to call us into what we are working on today. It seems that God wanted to remind me, in my flatness, tiredness, and apprehension, why I am doing what I am doing. I might not physically see as many wins right now as I would like, but faith doesn’t work like that.

Faith wins when it is exercised regardless of whether we see a physical reward.

This time of the month is also the time when some of our bills come in, and again, as you will know if you have been following this, that is always a time where more faith is required. Some of our bills were a little higher over the last month, and even though we’d received a *beautiful gift a few weeks back, we knew it would be touch and go as to whether the ends would meet! We are growing in our faith for this, but we are learning that it is a line we have to walk.

Let me explain that a little. As followers of Jesus, we are meant to have an expectation that God will be generous with us. “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Mark 11:24. Elsewhere, we read passages like this: Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! Matthew 7:9-11. That means that when we walk into our day-to-day, we pray with faith for God to provide in ways we could never imagine. We are meant to have a Godly expectation of His provision. He is a good Father. However, I have also watched how we have abused His goodness when it comes to generosity. I’ve watched as we’ve become spoiled children rather than expectant sons and daughters. I’ve listened to teaching that we should all be millionaires if we had enough faith. I’ve even succumbed to some of the grumbling myself when the Lord doesn’t provide in the way I wanted Him to.

Godly expectation not stewarded well can very quickly turn to childish entitlement.

We all need the Lord’s help in this, and I am so thankful that He is patient with us in these moments. It was just this morning I was reading the account of the Israelites complaining (again) to Moses about how hard their journey was in the wilderness and how they doubted God’s provision. I definitely felt the weight of not becoming like them.

As we walked our son to the bus this morning, we prayed for God’s provision again. We asked that He would not allow us to be entitled but to walk with expectation—that we would always be on the right side of the line. About an hour later, I met up with someone for breakfast. We ordered breakfast, and then they headed out to their car for something. When we sat down, they handed me an envelope with some cash in it. They explained that they had had the envelope for a while, and they weren’t even sure how much was in it, but when they noticed it this morning, they asked the Lord who they should bless with it, and because they were meeting with me, I was the person. Pretty amazing, right? An answer to prayer an hour from when we had prayed it. It actually gets a bit better than that because later that evening, I was looking at our accounts after lodging the cash in the bank. Guess what? Before lodging the check, we were short of paying our bills by a few hundred pounds. It wasn’t loads, but more than what we had to cover it. However, the amount that was in the envelope we received covered the shortfall and even left us with a little more besides—the envelope contained more than what we expected. 🙌 That covers our bills for another month and allows us to continue with what God has called us to. I love how God looks after the details!

So, it’s been a pretty good day. Other than that we recorded another podcast episode on hope, and then I had football training tonight with my son’s team. Tomorrow we are praying at a wonderful couple’s wedding who we had the privilege of doing pre marriage with. Thank you Jesus for who you are and all you are doing in our lives.

*I (Janet) thought I’d share the story of that gift we referenced earlier in the post ❤️

Our friend was praying for us at home and felt God show her the passage from the Bible about the widow and the prophet Elisha. (you can find the story in 2 Kings 4:1-7) Basically, the widow in the story had 2 sons, and they were about to be taken into slavery because they had no money and were in debt. The lady asked Elisha for help, and a miracle happened! She only had 1 small jar of olive oil, but in obedience to what Elisha told her to do, she gathered as many jars as possible from the neighborhood and began to pour out her little bit of oil into the jars. As she poured, the oil kept flowing 😃🙌 She ended up miraculously filling every single jar she had collected, meaning she could sell the oil, pay off her debts, her sons were saved from slavery, and they could all live off the remainder of the money 🥳 It’s incredible!

Anyway, our friend felt that God was highlighting this story for us – that He was going to pour out financially into our lives and the ‘oil’ would never run out – we’d always have what we needed to live on 😃 She felt like her financial gift to us was symbolic of the beginning of the outpouring. She even gave us a jar to remind us of the word and the promise 😃 I bought a wee plant to go in the jar; I chose this particular one because, to me, it looks like oil running over. ❤️🙌

Then today we got that 2nd gift…the oil is starting to pour ❤️ Thank You Jesus 🙌🥳