These last few days have been a beautiful retreat for us in Donegal. A friend got in touch to offer us the use of their house there, and we decided that a few days away this week would be amazing – it really was. We were in the most picturesque place, had two of Ireland’s warmest days of the year, and had time together. We didn’t structure our time in any way – it wasn’t a planned retreat – instead, we did what we felt like when we felt like it. It turns out we felt like having naps, reading books, writing, chatting, walking, and eating. The house we stayed in didn’t have internet, and the network was patchy, so it was nice in many ways not to be able to do lots of things that might have pulled us out of relaxing. There is so much value in just getting out of a place that is familiar and doing things you wouldn’t normally do. For example, most afternoons and evenings we would put on Classic FM, because there weren’t other music options without words, and sat as we read. It was really nice, and it’s a rhythm we might bring back home into some of our evenings (minus the Classic FM 😂). Changing these things every so often forces you to talk about stuff you might not have before; it forces you to reflect and think differently. It’s a bit of an MOT for our bodies: mentally, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. We came back pretty refreshed and excited for the summer ahead. Here are some pics of our time there.

I (Neil) want to chat about something interesting that happened when we were walking back from the little town on one of our days away. We were talking about how much we loved our time in Donegal and how much we are looking forward to our summer ahead. This time next week, we are going to be in Spain for just over two weeks, and after one week back home, we are heading to California for just under a month. It really is incredible – the Lord has been so good to us.

But as I was looking ahead to this summer, I had a weird feeling. I felt a bit guilty about how incredible this summer was going to be. It’s not that I’m not excited or looking forward to it; I just wasn’t sure if we deserved it. As we walked along, I thought about other people who have worked so hard this year, people who are struggling financially, and who aren’t getting anything like the blessings we have received. I wondered what they must think when they look at us ‘swanning off all summer.’ I thought about if I had been in a more typical employed job and had been given lots of time off in the summer, how I would feel – I reckoned I would have been fine with that! The truth is that last summer we had a similar kind of summer, but I didn’t struggle with that at all – perhaps because I knew it was a year off, a year when we were recovering from a difficult season. But this year is different. This year we are working; we are stepping into the next thing. I have talked before about how often I have struggled to adjust to what we have been doing recently because it doesn’t feel like ‘work’ to me most of the time. Is it therefore legal that we can have a summer like the one that’s coming ahead? 😂 welcome to my brain……….

What you need to know is that I don’t tend to struggle with low confidence or self-esteem; I am not one of those people who defer any compliment or blessing unto someone else…. I am perfectly comfortable with all of that 😂…. usually! I don’t usually feel guilty about receiving gifts and have learned how important it is to learn how to receive as well as to give. Deep down, I think it comes down to a part of me that still believes we earn God’s blessing. Of course, I know that this isn’t true. God gives us gifts because He loves us, not because we necessarily deserve them. If we had to earn His blessing, it would be a wage, not a gift. I don’t know why some people end up seemingly receiving more and others less, but I know I trust God with everything.

So, in this moment I will allow what is true to overrule what I feel. I am so thankful for God’s blessing and what He has called us to do this year. I am excited for the summer ahead and I can’t wait to see what He has ahead for us.🙌